I did manage to get my health issue resolved, but not without help from the homeopathic and magical communities. My own attempts were poor indeed, but at least the matter is now behind me.
I can see that I am gong to have to spend time on de-stessing techniques for the future, as if I lose my focus in such a situation, what good am I in any situation at all where I need to "tune in". Its such a shame because I felt so much clearer in my connections after returning from the northern isles of Scotland. This setback was a huge revelation for me about my own lack of skills. Having the knowledge is one thing, but I can see that I do not spend enough time honing my skills. If I did, I would not have had to put out a distress call to all my friends.
Once this week is over (a full schedule sorting out mundane matters), I am going to set up a timetable to ensure that I spend time practicing those valuable techniques that will get me out of the next bind.
Showing posts with label Focus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Focus. Show all posts
20 August 2008
15 August 2008
Focus
I'm not at all well at the moment and am in considerable pain. The prospect of surgery (again) terrifies me, so I am attempting to deal with the issue using other means, including magical work.
This is not working as I cannot focus. Its not the pain, I've worked through that before. Its the stress of what will happen if I have the surgery. The long convalescence, the time off work need to recover during harsh economic times resulting in termination of my employment, further debts, etc. Every time I try to focus in order to get to a state from which I can alter my situation, I last about a second before all the stresses reappear and my mind goes into freefall ending at panic.
This has led me to believe something is seriously wrong, not necessarily on a physical level, but somewhere deeper. Only, its Catch 22, because I cannot concentrate long enough to locate the problem, let alone the symptoms. I can see I have my work ahead of me over the weekend. It could not have come at a worse time, though. I have a lot to do before the year ends and very little time to myself to achieve my goals without the interference of old problems/illnesses.
That "Arse Doctrine" is seriously getting up my ... ahem ... arse these days.
This is not working as I cannot focus. Its not the pain, I've worked through that before. Its the stress of what will happen if I have the surgery. The long convalescence, the time off work need to recover during harsh economic times resulting in termination of my employment, further debts, etc. Every time I try to focus in order to get to a state from which I can alter my situation, I last about a second before all the stresses reappear and my mind goes into freefall ending at panic.
This has led me to believe something is seriously wrong, not necessarily on a physical level, but somewhere deeper. Only, its Catch 22, because I cannot concentrate long enough to locate the problem, let alone the symptoms. I can see I have my work ahead of me over the weekend. It could not have come at a worse time, though. I have a lot to do before the year ends and very little time to myself to achieve my goals without the interference of old problems/illnesses.
That "Arse Doctrine" is seriously getting up my ... ahem ... arse these days.
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