Meditation

It occurred to me, in the early hours of this morning, that my meditation practice had fallen by the wayside. 

Meditation never came easy to me, I had to start with physical meditation - focussing exclusively on the act of walking -  and work from there, but I have never attained the ability to sit still and focus on a solitary thought, without an interruption from my "monkey brain".   Rather I use housekeeping for meditative purposes: ironing, washing up, dusting and vacuuming all serve me well, as they are repetitive and help me hone my focus. 

Lately, I have been using tasks to think, not meditate, and I thought it might be because I feel I have somehow failed.  Even as I write this, "monkey brain" is grinning at me and shaking it's head, like a chimpanzee - perhaps in victory?   Is time that I accepted "monkey brain" has won, and physical meditation is all I can hope for?  I wonder if I am giving up to early and should continue to strive for a more peaceful route in meditation, even if I've been attempting to do so for over 20 years?

I guess I know what I'll be thinking about when I'm scrubbing the bathroom floor tomorrow.

All is Well

I did manage to get my health issue resolved, but not without help from the homeopathic and magical communities. My own attempts were poor indeed, but at least the matter is now behind me.

I can see that I am gong to have to spend time on de-stessing techniques for the future, as if I lose my focus in such a situation, what good am I in any situation at all where I need to "tune in". Its such a shame because I felt so much clearer in my connections after returning from the northern isles of Scotland. This setback was a huge revelation for me about my own lack of skills. Having the knowledge is one thing, but I can see that I do not spend enough time honing my skills. If I did, I would not have had to put out a distress call to all my friends.

Once this week is over (a full schedule sorting out mundane matters), I am going to set up a timetable to ensure that I spend time practicing those valuable techniques that will get me out of the next bind.