Christian Vows

Yes, I am posting a topic relating to Christianity on a pagan blog, but there is good reason. I was reading (on one of the fora of which I am a member) about the dishonouring of the vows and affirmations made on (our) behalf at baptism and christenings. Given my post on Making and Breaking Oaths back in May, I had to think about this.

First of all, at baptism my parents and godparents undertook vows to school me in the ways of Christ, and affirmed that they repent of their sins and renounce evil/satan. Well, its up to them as to whether they upheld those values. Nothing was required of me at the time, so I consider I have not broken faith with anyone in this regard.

However, my confirmation is another matter. I undertook that myself, though not necessarily of my own free will. I attended a convent and, before we made our way to high school, we were required to take our confirmation. I wasn't too enamoured with the whole process, but I really had no alternative, being 11 years of age. I did choose a confirmation name; one that fitted with my other names and had nothing at all to do with the saint I most admired. I did choose my sponsor; a neighbour whose outlook on life was wonderful, not because he was devout. I do remember mumbling through most of the service, but not being very happy about all the hours we undertook working towards it.

It was the same for my first confession, in which I rattled off things I thought the priest might expect from someone my age, not what I really thought, i.e. that the whole thing was a farce. My communion was no different. I was a child and my parents, and, more especially my grandparents, had expectations of me. I fulfilled those as a dutiful grand/daughter, but most of what I did as a Catholic was done with my fingers crossed from the age of 5 when I first attended school and figured out life was far more complicated than the church, and the bible, would have you believe.

At 19, I held a little, itsy bitsy ceremony and renounced my religion. No-one was in attendance, and I didn't renounce deity, just the whole Catholic system. I felt it was the only thing I could do, even though I knew several good people who were devout Catholics, including my Aunty Pat (as she is affectionately known), a woman so kind, so giving, so forgiving she ought to be cannonised before her demise and my school principal, Sister Marcella who tried desperately to reconcile the bible with origin of species theory. I had no faith left in the Church, and the majority of its members seemed such hypocrites. The priests were often drunk, moaned about not having enough money for the church repairs whilst driving around town in a large Mercedes, and employing a full time housekeeper, despite a convent full of nuns living opposite. Certainly, it seemed as though they were never short of a good meal, nor did the nuns for that matter. My own grandmother would steal flowers from people's gardens on her way home from church.

Everything I read about the religion into which I had been baptised seemed false and I could no longer stomach it. I was an adult, supporting a family of four and felt I was able to choose for myself. So, one day I decided to voice my feelings.

Of the questions I was asked and what I was required to say, things have moved on a bit - to say the very least. I don't repent my sins, as I am not sure what a sin is anymore. I turn away from Christ, as a deity. I know he lived; its recorded, but he is not my idea of a god incarnate. I don't reject evil, either. I accept it is a part of our world. I believed this when I took confirmation, too, so its an odd question to answer. The only one I did not answer honestly (at the time of my confirmation) was accepting Christ into my life, because I didn't though I said I did. Once I left primary school, our family seemed to abandon regular church attendance altogether and I had a feeling that might be on the cards, but I went along with the rest of the congretation and answered in the affirmative.

So, do I consider I've broken vows? No.

I felt I undertook the whole process under duress in the first place; I certainly wasn't sure about what I was being asked to do, and I never took the process seriously, even if others did. Certainly, the Christian god does not appear to have punished me for leaving the Church. I have a feeling he might be disappointed with the Catholics, and if he had a choice, he'd probably renounce all affiliations with them, too.

Making and Breaking Oaths

This is another topic that has arisen for me of late. Mostly because I have been reading Ciaran Carson's rendition of "The Tain". What niggled me the night before last was the part wherein Cú Chulainn takes up command of a chariot and goes on a bit of a rampage, taking on all comers and issuing challenges.

He goes on to do some hunting and then returns to Emain Macha and shows his disrespect to Conchobar and a desire to engage in warfare with those he has sworn to protect. In response to this, Conchobar sends out the women to shock him out of his battle rage and he is then dunked in barrels of water until he is calm, whereupon he is placed on Conchobar's knee.

What strikes me as odd is that as Sentanta, he swore an oath to protect Conchobar and his province from all comers in retribution for killing the prize hound of Conchobar, hence the name change to Cú Chulainn. So, why then, when he breaks this oath is Cú Chulainn not punished? It seems very odd to me, considering the role that oaths and honour play in pre-Christian society.

Some have conjectured that it is a case of "diminished capacity" whilst in the throes of blood lust, and so Cú Chulainn cannot be responsible for his actions, or the breaking of any oaths or promises. It is also conjectured that, though he may seem uncontrollable, he is invincible, nonetheless, and this is an asset to Conor people. So, they are unlikely to punish him for his actions.

I find both are unsatisfactory answers. To my mind, an oath is very serious indeed. I would consider an oath more serious than a marriage vow and infinitely more binding than a mere promise.

I tend to view promises as something you will endeavour to do, but they can be broken should adverse circumstances prevail, inhibiting your ability to fulfill such promises. For instance, if you promise your neighbour can have every male calf born to you this year and no male calves materialise, then its a promise which you cannot fulfill and, understandably so. Or, if you promise to take your elderly neighbour shopping on Saturday and your sister is in a serious accident and you have to attend her to bedside in a foreign country, then you should not be obliged to keep the promise you made to your neighbour. Though, I would think it dishonourable to not attempt to find someone else to assist in your absence. The consequences are breaking a promise are such that only your honour and reputation should be wounded.

I believe vows are far more serious undertakings than promises. A marriage vow should not be broken, bar extreme circumstances. The only premise I could find for the breaking of such a vow would be if you found your partner was already married and continuing the relationship without your prior knowledge. Then the vows would be made null and void. If anyone can think of any other circumstances do let me know. If one breaks a vow, I feel there should be some serious retribution and recompense owing to any injured parties.

When I was sworn in as a Justice of the Peace, I took the words of that oath very seriously and I would never knowingly break it. I have never been in any situation (other than a professional one) where I felt an oath was required.  I feel the undertaking of an oath is very serious.

There was an occasion where I was witness to an assault. I was called as a witness to the court and, as such I would have sworn an oath to tell the truth. As it happens, the accused was not the person I had seen and it was fortunate indeed that he had jumped bail, because I was being urged to say I wasn't sure about his identity rather than categorically deny it was him. How do I know it wasn't the accused? I was shown his photograph just before going into court. If I had seen that picture before that day, I would have advised the prosecutor and I would not have spent a troublesome hour pondering my fate were I to give false witness. My conscience told me I could not lie under any circumstances, because of the oath I would have sworn in court and the one I undertook as a Justice of the Peace.

It was a horrible position to find myself in, but I knew if they asked I would have to say I was sure the accused was not the attacker I had seen. My conscience would not let me do otherwise and I felt that I could not live with sending someone down for a crime he did not commit, regardless of any other, more serious crimes he may have committed.

I know they are talking about having children in the UK swear an oath to Queen, country and government every morning, but I would protest at any child of mine undertaking such an oath for many reasons. I have little faith in some of the government's actions and I reserve the right to protest against anything done in my name by the government that I feel is wrong. I am certainly not going to swear an oath to the next in line to the throne, as I have little faith in him, either. The country, this land on which I tread - yes, I can swear an oath to that, but can a child of primary school age really comprehend the importance of that oath?

Perhaps that's where my answer lies in relation to Cú Chulainn's actions; he was only a boy when he took his oath, so he may be owed some leeway when it comes to keeping it? It is my understanding, however, that promises, vows and oaths were far more important in pagan times then they are today and that a child would be more aware of the importance of allegiance, honour, respect and paying the price for the loss of same.

For my part, I won't be taking any oaths lightly, though I do endeavour to keep my promises and my word. I still hold to the belief that "my word in my bond" - a phrase which has always spoken to me of honour, fealty and the nobility (exalted moral excellence) of mankind.